Wednesday, September 12, 2012

New Feature: The Two-Haiku Review

I'm pleased to announce a new occasional feature: The Two-Haiku Review. I read far more books than I review here, partly because I'm a lazy bastard and partly because some books are just so dull that I'm left baffled and mute when I try to describe them. So think of these haiku more as snapshots of the blasted mental landscape left behind by a neuron bomb than as book reviews as such.

This time, I've reviewed a few of the classics.

The Possessed, by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

People walk around
From room to room, whispering
But wait -- can't talk now

It's because there may
Be spies listening to them
That's all that happens

The Pickwick Papers, by Charles Dickens

Some guys wrote some stuff
None of it is connected
One is called Pickwick

I slept through the book
Oh wait, that's not possible?
In this case, it is

The Grapes of Wrath, by John Steinbeck

Choking on dust clouds
Sad, starving morons head west
Looking for less dust

On the way, they die
California has dust too
Then rain, and then mud

The Sun Also Rises, by Ernest Hemingway*

Oh noes, no testes
So my girlfriend sleeps around
She feels sort of bad

There is bullfighting
I think it's a metaphor
Oh noes, no testes

* With apologies to L.

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